


Gilgamesh Wants a Cookie

by SnowyAria



Category: Fate/Grand Order, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: Adorable, Arrogance, Cooking, Gen, Silly, Slice of Life, Yandere
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-11-24 02:20:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20900039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnowyAria/pseuds/SnowyAria
Summary: Mashu's cookies are a legendary treasure in Chaldea, and all the world's treasures belong to Gilgamesh. He can't bring himself to bend down and ask for one, so he enlists Enkidu for help. They see this as an opportunity to teach Gil how to be nice, by force if necessary.





	Gilgamesh Wants a Cookie

The tray of cookies trembled in Mashu's hands as the King of Heroes silently scowled at her. She had been walking back from the kitchen to Master's room when she passed Gilgamesh in one of Chaleda's hallways. Mashu tried to bow respectfully and slip past, but he stepped right into her path. He looked down at the sweets, then locked his eyes with hers. His mouth stayed shut in an expressionless leer. Mashu's thoughts scrambled in a panic, trying to figure out how she slighted Gilgamesh and how to make it out alive. _He's mad, he's mad, he's mad,_ was all she could think. After a brief silence, he let out a small cough like he expected something from her.

"E-excuse me, your highness!" was all Mashu could think to say before nearly sprinting away in terror. She could hear the clinking of his golden armor, but she didn't dare look back.

* * *

"You have to ask for things you want, Gil," Enkidu chided, sprawled across Gilgamesh's throne in the ancient hero's personal quarters. Golden decorations and beautiful, deep red fabrics lavishly adorned the walls of the otherwise standard bedroom.

"She should know a king expects tribute," he rebutted, sitting with his arms crossed in his guest chair. "Those cookies are legendary in Chaldea. As the true king, I have the right to all treasures. She likes you, grab one for me."

"No," Enkidu replied simply. Gilgamesh's eyebrows furrowed in annoyance, but he said nothing. "You need to learn to treat people better. Honestly, I'm surprised you didn't threaten her."

"She's got that adorable innocent expression going on, kind of like yours, so it's hard to threaten her."

"Aww, Gil~"

"She's probably hiding a sadistic and horrible personality like yours too."

"Aww. Gil," Enkidu coldly replied. A chill ran down Gilgamesh's spine as the sound of rattling chains echoed in the room.

"A-alright, alright, down you feral beast," Gilgamesh muttered in his attempt to calm the situation. "What should I do then?"

* * *

The next day, the ancient and powerful King of Uruk waited patiently for a young girl to walk by with cookies. Mashu visibly jolted as their eyes locked.

"Mashu," Gilgamesh began, trying to remember Enkidu's coaching. "Hand over a cookie," was the politest thing he could say.

"O-o-only if you s-say please..." she meekly responded, the cookie tray vibrating in her hands as her body shook. Gilgamesh's eye twitched violently, and his hand tensed into a tight fist. Just then, he eyed the green-haired fiend waving in the background.

_ That bastard!_

"P-please hand over a cookie," Gilgamesh managed to cough out. Mashu began to slowly raise the tray for him before Enkidu shouted behind her.

"You can do better!" they called happily. Gilgamesh shot them a death glare, but Enkidu's face just read _try me._

"Please, l-let me..." he began, looking away and wincing like a patient being treated for a stab wound. "...have a cookie."

"Please h-help yourself," Mashu replied with a strained smile while holding up the tray. The heavenly smell of the legendary cookies flooded into his nose and washed away the embarrassment he felt. The soft, chewy dough warmed his mouth, while the subtle sweetness danced just enough on his tongue.

"Your baking skills are splendid, do not falter in your pursuits," was his best attempt at saying thanks.

"I can't believe Gilgamesh asked for something nicely!" someone said enthusiastically from the passing corridor. A sword instantly materialized out of the king’s treasury and raced through the air, finding its place in Okita's chest as she slumped onto the floor. Hijikata stood next to her, his hand covering his face in embarrassment. More golden shimmers appeared in the air, but chains rushed from all around and locked Gilgamesh's arm behind his head.

"Ahh, Gil..." Enkidu called out, a cold, disappointed frown on their face. "I promised Mashu that no one would get hurt, but you couldn't help yourself. Well, that girl was a Saber, but now you have to deal with a Lancer."

Gil struggled against the chains, but they only tightened, bending his arm painfully behind his head. Enkidu grabbed a loose chain to lead him away, but turned towards Hijikata first.

"I'm sorry about your friend," they said sweetly. "But she did try to pet a rabid dog." Hijikata just nodded solemnly in agreement, unwilling to avenge his comrade. Enkidu then turned to Mashu and smiled.

"Thank you for cooperating with me, Mashu," they said, pulling Gilgamesh's chain to make him face her. "Gil, you haven't thanked her properly."

"I gave what was needed--"

"_Enuma Eli--_"

"Thank you for the cookie, it was delicious!" Gil burst out in record time. The sudden bloodlust dissipated from Enkidu's body as they nodded in approval before walking their troublesome dog away.


End file.
